Worst Massage Ever!

When I started talking to other Massage Therapists about the worst massage I'd ever received, everyone had a story to tell. "Oh, do you mean the one that was so light and fluffy it was annoying, or the one who left you with bruises?"

Well, yes, those too. The light and fluffy one tells me that poor therapist never learned the first thing about body mechanics and doesn't know how to apply appropriate pressure; it is sooo annoying, like a gnat I just want to swat away. Don't waste my time.

Then there is the steam roller who believes in applying deep pressure at 90 mile an hour - this person is clueless about "listening" to the client and never learned the secret to great deep tissue . . . the sloooow sink, the take all the time in the world, oh yes, that feels good sort of relief that knotted muscles are begging for. Is it any mystery why many people don't like Deep Tissue Massage? Slow down, breath, pay attention. The really bad Deep Tissue massage that I had was even more memorable because this guy worked out of his house . . . okay, nothing wrong with that, but there was the smelly dog, the music that wasn't at all massage music, and the fact that this guy wouldn't shut up and when I asked him to slow down, he told me that I wasn't the first person to tell him that. Well, Duh? And to make matters worse, this therapist had 17 years of experience. How can one have 17 years of experience and be so unskilled?

The worst massage I've had lately is one that I received while attending a National Convention. It was a text book case of all the things not to do in a massage. The room was cluttered and unappealing, the therapist talked too much, he alternated between too deep and too light, really did not appear to be paying attention, and he was really unprofessional with the draping. It seemed that he hadn't heard a word I said when I explained where I was tight and where I wanted him to focus. To add insult to injury he cut the massage short. Well, considering how bad the massage was, he may have done me a favor. My first thought was that this guy was really inexperienced - then on second thought I realized he may have been experienced but was just unskilled! I have had a number of very good massages at our student clinic by student therapists who are inexperienced, but surprisingly skilled.

What was your worst massage experience? And how do you find a good therapist when you are traveling?